My Fly Was Open, And I Didn't Notice

Client rejection isn't always personal.

Often, it comes from the same place for you and me.

We live defensively.

Let me tell you about it.

A couple of years ago, I was giving a conference in a hotel event room.

In front of me was a full room.

Everyone looking at me with a face like:

"Let's see what this bald guy with a 'Serving is the way' t-shirt is going to teach us."

I started talking.

And I hadn't even been speaking for a minute when the commercial manager raised his hand.

I thought:

"Here we go."

"This guy wants to be the star."

So I didn't acknowledge him.

I kept talking.

But the rascal kept his hand up.

Then he made a gesture at me.

Like:

Come here. Get closer. I want to tell you something.

That made it even worse for me.

I thought:

"Who interrupts a session to tell me a little secret?"

And I continued.

A little later, someone approached and gave me a cup.

I hadn't asked for coffee.

But they gave it to me.

I took it.

And I saw it had a yellow Post-it note attached.

It said:

"Your fly is down."

That's what the commercial manager had been trying to tell me for a while.

He wasn't trying to show off.

He wasn't trying to steal my thunder.

He wanted to help me.

And I rejected him.

Not because I was a bad person.

But because I was already on the defensive.

And that's when I understood something.

Many customers do the same thing.

They don't reject help because they're rude.

They reject it because they confuse it with a threat.

It's not personal.

Often, your customer doesn't pull away because they don't need help.

They pull away because they feel danger.

And rightly so.

We're all like that.

Paranoid.

Defending ourselves.

Suspecting before understanding.

That's why you and I ignore the person offering us a credit card at the mall.

The one who wants to give us a brochure on the street.

Or the one who calls to offer us a new cell phone plan.

We all do it.

Not because we're bad people.

But because we've learned to protect ourselves.

The problem is that this also affects your team.

Because no one likes to approach to help and feel rejected.

No one likes to be ignored.

To have a call cut short.

To be looked at with distrust.

To be treated as if they're bothering someone.

And when that happens many times, the employee starts to get scared.

They become more timid.

They approach with doubt.

They overthink everything.

And they start to take rejection personally.

When your team understands this, their approach changes.

They stop getting caught up in every bad face.

They stop reading every rejection as humiliation.

And they start to approach with more calm.

Without shrinking.

That can be trained.

It's also about learning to face rejection without internalizing it as if it speaks about you.

If this resonated with you, maybe this will help.

Habit

It's not for everyone.

And I'll leave you with something else.

If you want me to send you a conference I gave to our community on how to help your team overcome their fear of client rejection—

Reply to this email with a simple "no."

And I'll send it to you.

Carlos Agami

Serving is the way.

—

Shopology S.A. de C.V.

Av. Pacífico 468 Local C, Coyoacán, Ciudad de México, CP 04330, México.

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