The Confession of a Man Who Understood Too Late

There's something they don't tell you when you lead a team.

You can repeat what you want a thousand times.

And nothing changes.

You want them to sell differently.

You want the service to feel different.

You want the attitude to be different.

And yet, everything goes back to the same.

Yesterday, I understood something about that.

I got home around 9 PM.

I got into the elevator with a neighbor.

A man about 60. Already a grandfather.

"You leave early and come back late. I commend you."

"I'm going to tell your father-in-law."

I smiled.

"It's clear you're very committed to your children."

And then he said something different.

"I wasn't like that."

He said it softly.

Not as an excuse.

I saw it on his face.

He wasn't justifying himself.

He wasn't boasting.

He was resigned.

Like someone who finally understood something.

But can no longer do anything to change it.

I felt that weight.

That strange mix of nostalgia and “I wish I had done it differently.”

My floor was coming up.

And I wanted to ease the moment a bit.

"I get it."

"Back then, it wasn't the norm."

Because it was true.

He wasn't a bad father.

He was a man adapted to his environment.

At that time, the role was clear: work. Provide. Period.

He did what the environment did.

And believed he was doing the right thing.

And that's when something uncomfortable hit me.

The environment dictates.

More than the course.

More than the discourse.

More than Monday's motivational meeting.

If everything around stays the same,

people stay the same.

Now look at your team.

The meeting where everyone nods.

Yes, boss.

And by Tuesday, it's business as usual.

Let's see.

You want different results.

But day-to-day,

what is repeated most often?

What is talked about most?

What is celebrated?

What is insisted upon every week?

Because that,

that's what becomes normal.

And here comes the uncomfortable part.

Your team isn't apathetic.

They're doing what became normal.

And normal doesn't change with speeches.

It changes with repetition.

With what you ask about every week.

With what you review, even if it's uncomfortable.

With what you celebrate publicly.

With what you model, not just demand.

That thing you repeat.

That becomes expected.

And what's expected becomes the rule.

I call these rituals.

Small, intentional actions that, through repetition, change what the team considers normal.

Relax. It's not magic.

And unlike my neighbor,

you still have time to decide what will become normal on your team.

If you want to see how to start implementing rituals on your team, reply with “Rituals” and I'll send you a guide to get started.

Warmly,

Carlos.

P.S. Remember, serving is the way.

PS2. If you want help transforming your team and your results, let's talk.

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